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The Problem with our problem is that we think we should not have problems.

The Problem with our problem is that we think we should not have problems….other than that I think most of us do fine with our problems.

We awaken each day with one of two goals in mind–I am here to make it through this day and I am here on a mission to find and sustain joy to the best of my ability.  I will run into problems that will attempt to de-rail me and I will run into problems that do de-rail me; but I want to remain deliberate about my belief that joy is in me waiting to be employed by my decisions to aim for well-being.

Or, we awaken a fuck’en miserable mess, put the covers back over our heads and lament that it is cold, it is too early, it is dark or what ever the lamentation of the day happens to be.  We think we are obligated to do something that we hate and we are victimized by our inability to console ourselves and we proceed to be unhappy (out-loud) and hope that we can snag at least one somebody to drag into the gutter with us.  Misery does love company.

That about sums up the two positions on waking up.  Now, let’s examine awakening for a moment.

Hoping that you as reader are interested in the former, I want to spell out a few guide-posts for you to keep in mind while you begin your meanderings through the day.  First, there are only two states that you need to be aware of:  1)  I feel good, and 2)  I feel awful.  Each of these are paradigms that exist in the mind and are there fully formed waiting to be employed.  If you are aware that you are in a negative state, say anywhere from 0 to 90 on an applause meter, you must deliberately decide that you want to bring that number up somewhere between 90 and 180 on the applause meter.  The closer you get to 180 degrees the more likely you will be chosen as Queen for a Day.

The glimpse that we have a positive state within, ready made and ready for us to use, is the perception that is necessary to shift from under-the-covers to into-the-light-of-day.  All you need to know is that you want out of the negative state and some aspect of the positive side of life will appear.  I have a friend who calls these apparitions angels.  But, regardless of what we call them, we recognize it by its benign, comfortable and casual nature.  In this state nothing is right or wrong, perceptions are about effectiveness not judgement.

So, we need awareness–subjective awareness.  Next, we need a glimpse of the better feeling state, and after that we need to make a deliberate decision that that positive state is the state that we want to be in.  It is the state from which we want to watch our problems develop, emerge, and fade.  Problems follow the course of life, they are a seeds that grows, have a life, flowers and begins to wither and eventually decay.  Problems are no better at life or no worst at life than we are.  Problems have a life of their own and we need to respect that problems will arrive and depart like the tides, and the morning sun.  Problems come and go they have a life cycle. There is nothing unusual or abnormal about a problem.

Do not be afraid of a problem, its purpose is to educate you about your character and to give you clues about the nature of your drives.  So, give yourselves a loud round of applause and watch that meeter climb and surpass even your most unexpected dreams.


The choice that is ours to make has to do with nudging the negative numbers below 90 degrees into the positive numbers on the other side of the radius. We get connected with our more perfect self by deliberately wanting to be rid of what ever the misery is.  We get connected by being persistent in our yearnings and in believing that allowing ourselves to let in the good will eventually over-power and eradicate the negative. We know there is a positive state in the mind someplace.  You have to find it.  It shows itself as a smile over a thought, or a scent that has you recalling a day in the third grade, or perhaps you hear a song that recalls a man you loved or a pet you lost.  The positive state is not loud or even jubilant; it is a murmur, a whisper, a breeze.  It can be anything as long as it reminds you of something pleasant.