Albert, your post today really resonates with me and puts something into words that I have been seaching for – that is, seeing the person as caught in the narcissistic phase of development, which comes from an inability to understand their pre-verbal drives, and who sees conflicts as ‘out there’ rather than ‘in here’, and so is looking outside of itself for answers, because he can not decipher the messages that are coming to him internally. You say that the messages that come internally are experienced as foreign and therefore the tendency is to act on the outside world rather than on the internal conflict that is perpetual. Is this due to the lack of holding, and psychological containing as an infant by the care-giver, who could not help the infant decipher the ‘inside’ messages and so they remain ‘foreign and inaccessible?
How do you help with this developmental/pre-verbal conflict that has not had resolution? I ask this because I recognise this in myself, the seeking of approval from others, the defining of myself through my connection or communication with others, and now , slowly, through analysis and art-making, starting to find the core ‘me’ inside myself, that grounds me in my being, rather than through being mirrorred by others.