Online therapy, counseling & psychoanalysis

Moving towards health, success and well-being

Dear Dr. D……………

ask AL

This page was somewhat a success on my previous blog site.  I decided to add it to this blog.  You can ask generic questions about psychoanalysis, therapy or counseling,  or you can ask a question that might generate a discussion on the topic you are interested in.  I will put a link to my e mail address if the question you want to ask is personal and you do not wish a discussion on the topic to be public….

Ask away!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. D

p.s. Please use the reply button to ask a question

2 thoughts on “Dear Dr. D……………

  1. Albert, your post today really resonates with me and puts something into words that I have been seaching for – that is, seeing the person as caught in the narcissistic phase of development, which comes from an inability to understand their pre-verbal drives, and who sees conflicts as ‘out there’ rather than ‘in here’, and so is looking outside of itself for answers, because he can not decipher the messages that are coming to him internally. You say that the messages that come internally are experienced as foreign and therefore the tendency is to act on the outside world rather than on the internal conflict that is perpetual. Is this due to the lack of holding, and psychological containing as an infant by the care-giver, who could not help the infant decipher the ‘inside’ messages and so they remain ‘foreign and inaccessible?

    How do you help with this developmental/pre-verbal conflict that has not had resolution? I ask this because I recognise this in myself, the seeking of approval from others, the defining of myself through my connection or communication with others, and now , slowly, through analysis and art-making, starting to find the core ‘me’ inside myself, that grounds me in my being, rather than through being mirrorred by others.

  2. The treatment process when working with a narcissistic individual is for the analyst to be extremely cautious not to attack or in any way disturb the defense–well, not yet, at least. Following the contact, allowing to patient to lead the session at all times, and joining in with an understanding will create a situation where the “I and the Thou” will become confused. Frustration and gratification need to be well balanced.
    Eventually it is the emotional communication that helps the patient to trust “the Other.” In this contexts the emotional communication has to delicate and very supportive and reflecting. Judgement, like seeking approval needs to occur both internally and externally. The more the analyst is able to maintain a firm position around boundary issues the more the patient will feel understood.
    There are some who say the search for the core me inside is a futile job…I tend to agree, but am still cautious about this stand. Jung, for example, felt that the core him was not something inside. but rather something in which he existed…..where and how we parcel out the me from the not-me will have an impact on how we grapple with our own authenticity in the face of wanting to be like by others. Both, of course are necessary and it seems to even beg the question when we try to limit our search to one answer….

    It is a real pleasure dialoguing with you…..

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